Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Social Media and Relationships........

Yeah you knew this was coming folks you did. lol

In 2016 EVERYONE has FB (but shockingly some young people don't lol and I praise them). Most people also have Instagram and Snapchat. But what about those anonymous apps like Whisper where you post anonymously all your deepest darkest secrets (contemplating suicide, fucking your family member, hating someone, etc)
Denying social media to someone now is like denying a cup of water, lol. EVERYONE cannot live without their phones (of course there's always the 10%) and everyone is constantly looking at FB status, posting pics, texting, gaming, etc.

But what happens when things start to become grey.....especially when you're in a serious relationship/marriage?

What is OK/allowed vs wtf, are you cheating?

Time Out:
I had an ex BF who was OBSESSED with his phone and social media apps. And I mean obsessed. He carried his phone EVERYWHERE. To the bathroom, to get a drink of water, upstairs, etc. He was also obsessed with social media apps, talking to random girls, snapchatting, sending photos, Whisper, and God knows what else he did behind my back. I ignored it when all the signs were there, unfortunately. Always had his phone face down and silent, even at home.....Got nervous when you picked it up to move it....

Anyway, so I ask men AND women a few questions.....
Disclaimer: This by the way goes for just serious, monogamous relationships and marriages. If you're single do whatever you want. lol.

1. It's OK to have social media like FB and Instagram, etc. You're showing the whole world you're happy perfect life. Babies, vacations, food, bf/gf, etc. So this is fine. It's okay to vent as well. BUT you really should try to refrain from airing your dirty laundry. Plus if you talk about heated topics like Presidential Debate, do NOT be surprised if both sides rant on your wall. lol. No surprise.

2. It's OK to talk to girls and guys who are your friends, as long as everyone is on the same page right? Keeping it real/clean talk. Nothing suggestive or creepy. lol.

3. It's OK to be on your phone and play games and send photos and text and check your emails. You may have a job like that requires your to do so or you like to de-stress with games.

4. Is it okay to talk to totally random strangers? Depends....On the topic, how long are the conversations, and how much interaction is there. Is it just a few hours? A day? A few days?  A week? Longer than a's getting into that grey/bad area IMHO lol.

5. Is it okay to send pics to the opposite sex? Yes sure. Is it okay to send sexy/nude films? Nope. Sorry, that isn't right. You have a gf at home and I'm hoping who you have sex with regularly and find attractive, so.......why would you need to send pics of your dick and such? Think about this this way, what if the tables were turned and your gf did that? Would you like it if she sent boob pictures to some random Joe? Something to think about it.......

6. Is sexting/video sex okay? Nope. Again why?

7. Meeting up in person.........but nothing happened. Probably NOT a good idea......

I found out from talking to and getting opinions from Whisper what is "okay" and what is "not okay"

Guys KNOW what they are doing but do it anyway and most of them say it's NOT cheating because they actually didn't fuck that person. TRUE. BUT.......have you heard of an emotional affair? That can later on lead to a stronger bond......And how long do you carry on this emotional bond? How DEEP is the emotional bond? and importantly WHY are you having this behind-the-screen-every-day-texting-talking? What is missing in your life.....? Are you in a unhappy marriage/relationship? Are you sooo bored with nothing to do? Are you a student and in between classes and lunch you are bored? Are you attention hungry? Do you need constant compliments of your looks and personality? Does it feel good when your ego is stroked?

I realized many of those men and women are creating a fantasy version of themselves. Everything is perfect. They tell you what you want to hear, compliment you, worry with you, uplift you. They have no stress, worries, $ issues, tempers, anger issues, nothing. It's all happy, sex, funny talk. So it's a facade they have created behind these social media apps. Because when you meet in REALITY, I would say 80% is a greatly disappointed from whatever you imagined and vice versa.

Where do you draw the line? What is wrong and right? What can you forgive vs hell no we are breaking up? How would you feel if behind your back your partner did this? Would you honestly feel okay? Why do we do this?

I'm NOT judging anyone. Hey, life is tough right? Stressed out with $, kids, mortgage, work, your wife or husband gets on your nerves, school is hard, etc. So perhaps this is one's outlet right? Talking anonymously and seeking attention? Showing pictures on Tumblr. Sexting random people. I understand to a certain degree.......

Just two warnings I give to people:
1. IF you get caught.....don't blame anyone except yourself. You went into this with open eyes and prepare yourself with consequences.
2. Why do you do this? Can you control it somewhat? Or will it be a habit that grows into an addiction...? Because you can be addicted to anything......

So use Social Media It's the fine line between too much and just right.......