Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Playing the Game...

I'm going to first say, this is only what I've learned and my experience in my life, NOT saying this is all true or all instances. And this isn't for young vs old vs race vs money vs education etc, playing the game can be at any stage in your life. (unless you're in a monogamous marriage for 20+ years/grandparents, etc)

I've met and interacted with a lot of people and some of them are honestly CLUELESS when it comes to "playing the game" in a relationship/dating. (Hook ups are different, it's just sex so there should be NO feelings involved...)

1. One the first few and i mean FEW dates, DON'T act 100% yourself. All that weird idiosyncrasies, habits, FB stalking, habits, fears, etc keep it inside of you. Deep inside. The first few dates is just a "hi, i like you so let's go out to drink or dinner" NOT okay future husband, here's my baggage/drama/deal. You scare off the person and they go thinking, "yikes what the fuck is wrong with this person?" AND they will tell others how "weird" you are and spread the word around. You don't want a bad reputation right from the beginning right? We're just getting started here.

2. Definitely have a little "hard to get" when things are going well/in the beginning. Dating in the beginning is a game. You don't want to be too easy because then they get bored and think you're an easy catch, but if you play too much of ice princess you're going to get dumped because honestly there's plenty of fish out there. And you're not special, period. So remember to push and pull a bit but don't over do it.

3. DON'T start thinking he/she is the best person in the world and you're in love forever and going to be Mrs. blah blah blah. Remember this is the honeymoon stage OF COURSE it's all rainbows and kittens. Just take it day by day and moment by moment and cherish it and enjoy it. No need to start thinking about the future and how perfect this person is. Remember: Low expectations, that way when you find out someone is fantastic (and truly is) you'll be pleasantly surprised and happy.

4. When things don't work out and you've already "had the talk", it's honestly time to move on.  It basically means one thing really: they don't care and/or disregards your feelings/requests. You can't change people and you can't control people, it has to come within that person. OR that person isn't for you.

5. Texting: in this world of texting there's so many silly rules we should follow or whatnot and sadly to say it works. lol. I can't exactly pinpoint the "rules" but put it simply, don't over text and text paragraphs to you new piece. Definitely do the text here and there and allowing one to respond back. I think a good rule is 48 hours, but that's just me. If someone texts you at night usually after 9pm sorry but it's a BOOTY CALL. Sorry sister/brother but it's not because they want a relationship rather to get laid. Stop fooling yourself. Also, if there's something important, big, good/bad news, it's better to talk in person. Texting like e-mail has no real voice or emotion and you cannot see their body language.

6.  My father told me this a long time ago and I know it's kinda fucked up and even sexist (from his point of view) but know what you want, and know what you're looking for. Are you looking for a hook up/fuck buddy? A boyfriend/girlfriend but nothing too serious? Husband/Wife/Partner type? Once you know what you're looking for at your own stage in life, you'll be able to make better choices. And I'm a firm believer that there is that different type of person for you throughout your life.

7. Lastly.......if you get rejected/dumped/blocked/whatever it made be cry and reflect (it's OKAY!) and then move on. Life isn't perfect and everyone makes mistakes and things don't work out and timing isn't right and so forth. It's honestly okay to feel bad and shitty and sad, ALLOW the pain to come out. And after some time (whatever that may be to you) pick yourself up again and go out there, remember there's SOOO many people out there, don't be afraid! 


  1. Amen!!!! I just finished having a convo woth a girlfriend of mine... And she has done exactly what you listed and well wonders why shes still single...ohh lord... Agree woth you all the way... I said the same things! Great post- Maria

  2. Thank you for reading my blog :) I hope your gf understands :)