Monday, April 3, 2017 2017 my insight.......

I'm going to talk about a sticky topic....because it's my blog and I can lol but also just my own personal insight.
DISCLAIMER: these are obviously NOT facts.....just my observations, experience, and the things I hear and when people confess to me like I'm their priest.

I am a Korean-American from NYC, which is a melting pot of different races and ethnicity but I grew up in a very "racist" sort of household, my father had his foot down and basically said: "you marry and stick to your own kind" That by the way, isn't even Chinese or Japanese, or anything like that, nope, GOTTA be Korean. Oh and needs to speak Korean too, or "he's not good enough" either. LOL.
However, I was between Queens and Manhattan (Spanish Harlem) and then put in an all private all girls school where it was 90% predominately white, specifically "Irish Catholic" girls. And guess what? I quickly adapted to the people around me and I soon began liking "white guys" especially the time when N-SYNC and Backstreet Boys were popular. But I kept that to myself, because I knew my dad would be upset if he knew I found "white boys" physically more attractive than Korean guys.

Then when I went to college, I was finally in a school where it was CO-ED and of course I went crazy. But the guys I have been with were again, white. Blondes, red heads, dark haired, blue eyes, brown eyes, etc I just found them physically attractive. I did also date Korean guy (but we broke up because he was too traditional) and I dated someone who was half Black and half Hispanic. I was pretty open to the idea of dating different colors and races, but again I preferred white.

Question is, am I racist because I don't date say Asians or Blacks? Because I'm physically more attractive to white guys more than other races. Then I start looking at my circle of friends and it's also predominately white guys and girls too, I would say 80% and 20% is mixed. So because of that, am I racist?

Can we just give a simple answer of: these are the people I draw in and I find myself drawn to as well, NOT focusing on color or race? That it just "happened" this way and it's not like I was doing this on purpose?

Then in the work force there seems to always be an under lining teams of certain races going "against" each other OR joining one team. Mostly it's minorities against the whites........kinda like men vs women.

It's sad to see this to be honest, but it is what it is. And the question is why does it happen this way? Shouldn't we be more focused on "right vs wrong" rather than race? Despite the color of your skin, if you did something wrong, you're wrong and you need to be punished/have consequences. Isn't that a simple thought? NOT oh because he's white or Asian or black, etc? Think about it this way: you're a parent your two kids get into trouble so what do you do? Punish BOTH of them because they messed up right? Not think to yourself, "well John has blonde hair so he deserves a less severe punishment than Mike who has brown hair" lol. Who thinks that way? Just think about that for a moment.....

I'll switch gears to bi-racial/ mixed people. What do they identify themselves to? When I look around and the people I think about and have socialized, I realized who ever primarily was home and raising them is the "dominant" race. Usually mothers, and whatever race she is, the kids follow suit. Kind of. Then again it's also family surroundings, school surroundings, and what they are taught/not taught and about their races/culture. Then you always have a group of people who "feel sorry for them" or who clucks their tongue and say, "oh their mom or dad didn't teach them how to be, blah blah" and I can't help but to think about it and raise an eyebrow and ask, Is this true? Is there some truth to this?

What is it like to be a mixed child raised in the USA? Suburb vs City life? NYC lifestyle vs the deep south where it's mostly white people? They have confided in me that they got ridiculed, made fun of, racial slurs, curious of what it's like to "fuck them", got into fist fights, and lost in their own identity....This is why I say parenting is extremely difficult. This is why I say raising a child, children (because it starts there) is hard because they learn what their own parents teach them and what they say. THEN they get older and experience things, watch things, and slowly develop their own identity....

Then there's a handful of people where you're adopted into a white family or Asian family or black family when you're not. I have a friend who's completely Korean and he was adopted by a white family, and he was raised in the south and without much guidance or multi-cultural influences for him. I believe it effected him NOW, when he's older........I think he struggles being "white" and being "Korean" and not sure which one he fits mostly with.
I actually told him my honest answer, which was--" if he was raised in the big city, it might have turned out better."
A place where there's many different races, cultures, and people. I cannot entirely fault his parents too for I don't know how much they taught him or didn't teach him. And I'm assuming they did the best they could with the tools and knowledge they had.

I wish there was an easy answer to an easy situation......I wish I can say the good old "Why can't we all get along?" And why does life have to be so complicated and grey? Why can't we be good and act good to others......

But the truth is, it comes within us; educating ourselves, learning, helping each other, being kind to each other, and understanding one another. We are all part of the human race, and we should try to always remember that-- before we "jump to conclusions" or before we start to "hate"....

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